There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my dad. How do you get use to the idea of something not being here that was for 51 years?
I must learn to cope the best that I know how. I must resume life. Mind you, its not easy. You have to become inventive with your emotions. You have shuffle your feelings to keep on smiling, to keep on moving, to continue to live. My dad meant the world to me and I cherished the fact that he was still with me in my 50's when most of my friends had lost their dads and moms at an early age. I am blessed that I had an earthly father for 51 years. He was my tall and broad shouldered hero. He is the man that I set standards for other men up against. My dad was some kinda fella. No, I didn't say he was perfect but he was one of kind, a dad that wasn't on the run. He was a father who stayed and endured for his wife and child. He watched closely over those he loved and gave all the he could to see that we were not without. Not only did he give many decades of his life to the city of Philadelphia but he gave just as much to his family. He is in the class of the hard working fathers like my husband who went to work every day tired or not and pushed on to be provider as well as protector. I still remember him running the neighborhood boys away from our front stoop and staring with hardness at any of them when they looked to long over at our porch if I was sitting outside. Daddy was no joke when it came to his little girl. LOL, There is so much I can say about my dad. I could write a book. Girls look up to their fathers. He is the role model and guideline she uses for every man that tries to court her. Boys grow up wanting to be like dad and they too watch and learn how to treat the women they will approach in the future. So many homes are minus fathers today and the mothers have to wear two hats when it comes to raising them and she does the best that she can to guide him into manhood in the absence of a male figure (dad).
I spend most of my days staying as busy as I can and resting in between. I find now that peace continues to surround me when I continue to mention my dad daily. I don't know how many stores I have gone into that I have had conversations about him with someone. When I find some way to incorporate him into my day it helps tremendously. Not forgetting is what keeps me going. I don't want to forget about him. I don't want to not see his picture or something that reminds me of him. The only thing I still have a little trouble with is the music. I now like to glance at westerns and eat his favorite ice cream (cherry vanilla) because I know he loved it. When I watch Charlie Brown I think of him, it is one of our favorite cartoons. I remember when daddy use to buy me the peanuts coloring books.
I remember my dad being my knight. If he felt I was unjustly treated he would always go to bat for me up against anybody. I remember him being my shield. when I wanted to go places and do things that he felt would put me in harms way he would decline my request to go or be a part of it. When I would ask why I couldn't his reply would always be "because I said so". I was a mess at times but my father had patience in handling me when sometimes I might have needed a hard jolt back into reality or punishment because of my mouth. LOL, I remember how my heart would jump when he would pick me up after school everyday from child care. when I would see him walk into the room I knew it was time to go home. We would talk all the way to the front door. I think most of the time it was me doing most of the talking, LOLLLLLLLLLLL These are the things that make me beam with pride, fill my heart with joy, and produce laughter from my spirit. I love remembering. I don't want to forget. Don't get me started on holidays, summer events and visits to see my grandparents. Yeah, I am going to have to write a book, LOL. Even me writing this right now is great therapy for me, its another way of remembering and sharing with others a little of the joy that he brought into my life. I love you daddy.
I must learn to cope the best that I know how. I must resume life. Mind you, its not easy. You have to become inventive with your emotions. You have shuffle your feelings to keep on smiling, to keep on moving, to continue to live. My dad meant the world to me and I cherished the fact that he was still with me in my 50's when most of my friends had lost their dads and moms at an early age. I am blessed that I had an earthly father for 51 years. He was my tall and broad shouldered hero. He is the man that I set standards for other men up against. My dad was some kinda fella. No, I didn't say he was perfect but he was one of kind, a dad that wasn't on the run. He was a father who stayed and endured for his wife and child. He watched closely over those he loved and gave all the he could to see that we were not without. Not only did he give many decades of his life to the city of Philadelphia but he gave just as much to his family. He is in the class of the hard working fathers like my husband who went to work every day tired or not and pushed on to be provider as well as protector. I still remember him running the neighborhood boys away from our front stoop and staring with hardness at any of them when they looked to long over at our porch if I was sitting outside. Daddy was no joke when it came to his little girl. LOL, There is so much I can say about my dad. I could write a book. Girls look up to their fathers. He is the role model and guideline she uses for every man that tries to court her. Boys grow up wanting to be like dad and they too watch and learn how to treat the women they will approach in the future. So many homes are minus fathers today and the mothers have to wear two hats when it comes to raising them and she does the best that she can to guide him into manhood in the absence of a male figure (dad).
I spend most of my days staying as busy as I can and resting in between. I find now that peace continues to surround me when I continue to mention my dad daily. I don't know how many stores I have gone into that I have had conversations about him with someone. When I find some way to incorporate him into my day it helps tremendously. Not forgetting is what keeps me going. I don't want to forget about him. I don't want to not see his picture or something that reminds me of him. The only thing I still have a little trouble with is the music. I now like to glance at westerns and eat his favorite ice cream (cherry vanilla) because I know he loved it. When I watch Charlie Brown I think of him, it is one of our favorite cartoons. I remember when daddy use to buy me the peanuts coloring books.
I remember my dad being my knight. If he felt I was unjustly treated he would always go to bat for me up against anybody. I remember him being my shield. when I wanted to go places and do things that he felt would put me in harms way he would decline my request to go or be a part of it. When I would ask why I couldn't his reply would always be "because I said so". I was a mess at times but my father had patience in handling me when sometimes I might have needed a hard jolt back into reality or punishment because of my mouth. LOL, I remember how my heart would jump when he would pick me up after school everyday from child care. when I would see him walk into the room I knew it was time to go home. We would talk all the way to the front door. I think most of the time it was me doing most of the talking, LOLLLLLLLLLLL These are the things that make me beam with pride, fill my heart with joy, and produce laughter from my spirit. I love remembering. I don't want to forget. Don't get me started on holidays, summer events and visits to see my grandparents. Yeah, I am going to have to write a book, LOL. Even me writing this right now is great therapy for me, its another way of remembering and sharing with others a little of the joy that he brought into my life. I love you daddy.
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