Hey Daddy

Just cant stop thinking about you and talking about you daddy. I was talking about you in the ER yesterday and had people looking at your picture on my coat, LOL. It's hard trying to swallow the fact that you are not physically here with us anymore. So many images run through my mind, some many memories of the past. I hold so much joy and mixed emotions. No, I didn't want you to stay to suffer just to have you with us. I knew you were tired. I knew you loved me. I knew you knew I loved you and I so wanted it to be that you would get better and be able to resume the life and momentum that you once exuded but your body was worn and your spirit was tired. I know you wanted to remain to a degree because you loved us and wanted to continue to share life with us but a part of you just wanted to go to sleep and rest from it all. It's so hard daddy, so hard to juggle these emotions. I need to see you so your pictures I have all around. I am working on making an area just for you in my home. I have the vision. I want to get back to work on the blankets which I will. Your little girl had to get some medical issues taken care of first. Every time I close my eyes I think of you. I look forward to sleep in hopes of dreaming of you. I will try my best to hold it together daddy because I know you would want me to and I want you to be proud of me. You will live on through me ok. I will take in views and do things in your honor, you will see. Every time I watch Charlie Brown, see snoopy or watch a western I think of you because I know these things we both liked and don't get me started on the Jazz you loved. I think the next time I visit mommy's I will ask her for some of your albums just to house a collection here in my home. I told you a corner will be yours, new hobbies will be adapted because of you. I declare you will never ever be forgotten you hear me daddy and I will carry on and take care of the kids, well heck they are grown they take care of me sometimes, lol, but you know what I mean. They love you daddy. I thank God you were their grandfather. You were such a blessing and an inspiration to them. Mommy is trying to hold on and continue to live but I know her heart is still so heavy. We are sticking close by her and keeping watch over her. She wont want for nothing If we can help it you hear. We will do the best the Lord allows us to do. I know what this date brings but I refuse to harp on it. I am finally taking some more of the Christmas decorations down daddy you know how I love Christmas. Boy I have so much joy when thinking about you. Our trips to Baltimore, our lunches and chats when I would come past the Library where you worked to go shopping in the area or to stop in to use the computer before I got one of my own. We both enjoyed good meals and loved grandmom's VA hams and butter cakes. We also loved Mommy's cooking, your wife is a cooking woman. Well daddy I am going to lay back down and watch ice skating. I love you so much, talk to you again soon ok. You are forever in my heart!!! ....................your little girl.